We are entering the time of gift giving, and it occurs to me that there is an important gift to give ourselves and those we care about. The present of presence. (I liked that word play). We recently posted a meme on Shaughnessy Wellness’ Facebook page that said “The body benefits from movement, and the mind benefits from stillness“. Yet it is very hard to still the mind in this fast-paced world in which we live.
Unfortunately many of us don’t help ourselves in the “mind stilling” department. I can be the worst offender! If you’ve known me for any length of time, you’ll know that I like to multi-task. I remember being excited to get a portable phone with a head set so I could get chores done around the house like watering the plants or washing the dishes while on long telephone calls. We have laundry racks that can go in the family room so I can hang wet clothes or fold dry laundry while watching television. I recently discovered audio books could be downloaded on to my phone from the library. This was a game changer! I could listen to a mystery novel I enjoy while driving to do errands or walking the dog.
It has occurred to me that I have increasingly less time with my mind being still. For instance, I enjoy checking social media like Facebook and Instagram, (and there’s nothing wrong with that, in moderation) but I now find that I will keep my phone handy when watching television, and be scrolling Facebook or playing solitaire while watching a television show. I’m multi tasking even in my recreation!
There is another expression I like. The mind is like water. When it’s calm, everything becomes clear. We need time when our mind is calm to see what is important in our lives. With the crazy demands of everyday life, it takes intentional focus to create times for this. There are different disciplines that provide opportunities for our mind to be at rest. Regularly participating in these disciplines can increase your ability to quiet your mind and develop inner peace.
Yoga. Yoga has been described as moving meditation. The act of holding oneself in specific positions and postures while focusing on your breathing can bring peace, as can stretching parts of the body that are holding tension. Tai Chi and Qi Gong also can provide opportunities to connect body movement with a still mind.
Prayer and Meditation. We can consciously connect with God and tune out the ambient thought “noise” that can run like a commentary through our brains. This can be accomplished in silence or with instrumental music. It can be structured with something like journaling. It can have a specific focus or phrase of scripture that is the object of the meditation, or be fluid in its’ form.
SRI (Somato Respiratory Integration) and breath work. Breath is the body’s best way of releasing tension. SRI can be like a stethoscope that allows you to take stock of where and how your body is holding stress, helping you identify it so that you can release the stored tension. See the videos on our website or join us for an SRI class to learn how you can use breath work at home to uncover and unwind stress patterns from your body. (next class is Thursday December 12, 2019 at 7:30 pm)
Network Care. The chiropractic technique we use is not just for pain relief. The gentle contacts develop spinal gateways that allow the nervous system to reset, releasing the “background noise” created by stored neurological patterns. This allows one to let go of the stress physiology that we carry. Often we are unaware of the tension we’ve stored. The energy released is now available for living your life, and you can focus that energy without distraction.
Having regular time that we can be still is important to our mental and physical health. Incorporating regular practices of some of the above techniques can go a long way to helping you be present, with yourself and with those you care about. By developing these skills on your own, you can translate that “presence ” toward your relationships.
How many relationships suffer because one or both parties are regularly distracted while they are together? We are bombarded by stimulus- calls, texts and emails can reach us no matter what we are doing! Being able to turn off the phone and focus on the person we are with, giving them undivided attention, is a gift. That is not to say it is never okay to scroll on your phone while hanging out with someone, but it should be by mutual consent, and it is healthy for the relationship to have some times where you are distraction free.
Our lives are busy, and will continue to get busier. Practice the stilling of your mind with the different strategies we discussed to enjoy peace with yourself and in your relationships. Over the holidays, and in the coming year, remember the gift of presence.