Last month I (Dr. Dave) wrote the “In Good Health” article on Doing vs. Being. I’d like to continue that conversation. While it is important NOT to define ourselves by what we do, but rather who we are, it occurs to me that sometimes we can desire to BE something, but get paralyzed in implementing the steps to becoming that. There has to be some DO in order to get to the BE.
For instance, we may desire to be fresh and well rested, known for our clear head and sharp mind. However, if we aren’t getting adequate rest, eventually this is not going to describe who we are- no matter how many caffeinated beverages we consume! We may have to do some things to get proper sleep and be well rested. It may involve stopping caffeine at a certain point in our day, unplugging electronics for a period before bed time, and somehow creating a night time routine that helps us sleep. ( for more ideas, see our blog article on “Quality Sleep: Tips and Tricks”). We have to do something to be fresh and alert.
It takes some time and intention to think about who you want to be. There is an excellent exercise for this- to write your own eulogy, one that could be read at some future date (years from now) at your passing. How would you like to be remembered? If you are having trouble finding something to write, this is when you can can consider what you’d like to be known for, and perhaps take some steps to put this into action.
For instance, maybe you’d like to be known as active, fit and healthy. You’d like to be able to play with your kids and or grandchildren and keep up. After a certain age, that doesn’t happen without DOing some things. You may need to watch your diet in certain areas, eliminate some things or start taking some supplements. You may need to do a regular exercise routine (no “may” about it!) to get fit and keep fit. There are different things you can do to help with motivation and follow through. Joining a gym, getting a trainer or partnering with a friend are all steps that can help with the follow through. We are starting our Movement Challenge October 1. (see note above) Join up!!! This can provide motivation ($400 prize!!!) and camaraderie.
There are many qualities one may desire in their life. Being generous is a tremendous attribute. I don’t know about you, but I have found that some of my patterns of thinking started when I was an impoverished student with no income. To this day, I automatically look at the least expensive items on a menu first, and then have to make a conscious decision to consider what I really want to eat. Also, at times I can feel busy and like I don’t have any free time to help anyone else out because a lot is going on in my life. However, when I consider my finances, I can think about all that I have to share and how I can be generous. If I am driving, or downtown, I try and set aside cash that I can give to those who do not have homes and are asking for help. I can look at my schedule in advance for the week and see where there are pockets of time that I might be able to give a friend a hand. If I live minute to minute, I won’t notice that block of time exists in my schedule and it will get eaten up by my own needs. I found there is a food bank in my area that serves hundreds of people each Thursday afternoon, which happens to be a day that I don’t see patients. It is so rewarding to plan that in my week and use my time to help people. I can choose to be generous with what I have, but I have to do some things, or I won’t get around to it!
Another quality I would like to have in my life is to be kind and forgiving. This doesn’t happen when I just see my own situation, and I have to remind myself that people are going through things of which I am not aware. Also, when I am aware of my own weaknesses, it can slow me from rushing to judgement and “throwing stones”. This past month, on the holiday Monday, I was excited because I could go to the Zumba class at our gym. I normally can’t go because I have patients at that time, but I was off for the day! I checked their website and my favourite teacher was on the schedule, so Jane and I drove to the gym. Sadly, the gym had reduced their hours for the day because of the long weekend, and it was closed! I was initially indignant. How could they not update their website with the early closure so that people like me would not drive all the way there! I then had to pause, when I realized that my own office website said that we were currently open, as I don’t bother to update it for stat holidays either! I humbled out pretty quickly in my glass house.
An exercise like writing your own future eulogy and thinking of who you want to be allows you to focus on the qualities you would like to develop. We can’t stop there, though, but have to figure out the “do” that leads to the “be”. Do-Be-Do-Be-Do. These are the immortal words of Frank Sinatra and also Scooby Doo. Words to live by! 🙂