At risk of sounding like a grouchy old codger, (I know, I’m probably too late), I’m noticing that people younger than me are regularly streaming TV shows and podcasts onto portable devices. This technology allows them to watch while they prepare food, eat, take transit, or generally move through the world. I know it is not just this generation that does this, other generations have their own versions of this- perhaps playing their radio all the time. I clearly remember visiting a friend while their television remained on with the news station blaring through the entire visit- and I suspect it remained on during all the waking hours. We try to avoid boredom by seeking ongoing stimulation.
Parents of young children can be tempted to not let their child experience boredom by offering iPads to occupy them during “downtime”. While we were on vacation, I saw a child at a resort who was riding a stroller though they were quite mobile (as I later observed) watching cartoons on a screen as they were wheeled to the restaurant. They stayed with the cartoons while their mom fetched them food from the buffet and then continued with the cartoons as their mom fed them. I try to remind myself not to judge another’s parenting style because there may be factors that are not visible. I saw this family at other times and this didn’t seem the case, but I get it. I was recently babysitting my niece’s three very active kids and there were times I felt like a little screen time break was exactly what all of us needed! And I just had them for 24 hours (and they’re wonderful kids!).
Now I am certainly not one to throw stones from my glass house. I love that audio books can be downloaded for free onto my phone from the public library app and I often entertain myself by listening to a mystery book while doing a mindless task like cutting the lawn, washing dishes or shoveling the driveway.
However, I feel like constant stimulation may be somehow robbing us. There is a peace that comes in stillness. Creativity can come out of boredom, as our brain is allowed to amble along different avenues. We might just solve all the world’s problems as we stay quiet and have time to think! We can take stock of how we are doing when we allow ourselves a good “think time”.
I have a patient named M. John Kennedy. As an actor, he has done a lot of body work, and as a drama professor he is experienced at expressing feelings and body awareness. After a session in my office, he got up from the table and said, “You know, my body is like a song. When I go through my day I can listen to it all the time. But when I’m on the table, it is like I can distinctly hear every individual instrument in the orchestra”. Wow! Well said, M. John.
We need times of stillness. For those under network care, you may wonder why I may leave you alone for a bit after I’ve administered a contact. It isn’t just so I can check on another patient- it is for your body to have time to process that information. Some of my practice members will report noticing sore areas on their body once they lie down on my table. Their body isn’t “suddenly” sore and my table isn’t making them sore- it’s that, in stillness, they are able to pay attention to tension patterns that they have been ignoring.
We need stillness physically and mentally. Yoga, Qi Gong or Tai Chi, meditation, prayer. These are disciplines that allow you to stop and listen – to your body, to your mind, to your soul.
I get it. We don’t always want this. I had one patient share that she would watch a television show or movie on her phone while taking a shower. She said, “You don’t know what it’s like to not want to be alone with your thoughts.” I do, actually. In my book on Storms, I describe “Netflix therapy” in the chapter on “The Storm of Grief”. When things are really challenging, we don’t want to feel our feelings or think our thoughts. Avoidance is King! This can be a valuable short term strategy, but we need to develop strategies to manage in the storm so that we are able to find stillness and be okay with it.
They say that in a hurricane there is an area of peace called “the eye of the storm”. Even though there are horrific winds and destruction is all around, there is this area of calm within the midst of it. As we go through life’s storms, we need to find the areas of peace within our own storms and spend time in that peace each day. Next month we will discuss some strategies to develop your eye of the storm. In the meantime, notice how much time you find yourself in stillness and see if you can build on that time. Experience the peace and, as the song says… give peace a chance!
Give Peace a Chance: Spending Time in the Eye of the Storm
