Years ago, I stayed with a friend who lived in a quiet neighbourhood. They had a “water feature” in their backyard and I LOVED sitting in that tranquil space, listening to the trickling water. I returned to Toronto and immediately purchased an outdoor fountain so that I could recreate this paradise in my own backyard.
Sadly, my backyard has a major street just behind the hedge, so with traffic noises I found that I had to literally stand with my ear pressed to the fountain in order to be able to even know it was there! My backyard sanctuary was not meant to be, at least not like that. In the city, we are bombarded by sound from every side. What is amazing, is that we choose to add many of these sounds to our lives, robbing ourselves of the peace that can come from silence.
Last month we talked about the different ways we may be adding to the noise. We have a steady stream of podcasts, videos, news or even just music that is competing with our potential moments of peace. I am now endeavoring to be more mindful, and notice how frequently I distract myself with some form of audio. I have chosen silence for some activities that I would normally fill with music or entertainment and I am happy with the result. I still listen to audiobooks at times, but I try to be intentional about when. I have to say, audiobooks were a lifesaver when I spent many hours over this past holiday weekend, pruning 8 feet from the top of our backyard hedge and then tying 76 bundles of branches!
There is neuroscience behind the challenge to find peace in the eye of the storm. Our brains today have become accustomed to constant stimulation- whether it is scrolling on a phone, watching video clips or listening to a podcast. The result is that our brain’s baseline level of dopamine can become warped, making “normal” focus feel painful. At the first sign of stress or boredom, the amygdala (part of the brain), reacts to the drop in dopamine levels and triggers a response that leads you to seek distraction (reaching for your phone) instead of staying in that state. I’ve noticed that I now tend to play a game on my phone while I watch television. It isn’t because the program is boring, it is that my brain is used to a higher level of dopamine than it was when I watched television in the past.
What can we do about it? A Stanford neuroscientist, Dr. Andrew Huberman, shows that deliberately leaning into 10 minutes of “boredom discomfort”—without distracting yourself—is one of the best ways to build your brain’s capacity for focus. I’m not going to lie, this can be challenging. Multiple studies have demonstrated that participants did not enjoy sitting alone with their thoughts. In one famous study, participants were given the option to self-administer a mild electric shock to escape the silence of their own minds. Nearly two-thirds of the male subjects and a quarter of the female subjects chose to shock themselves rather than sit with their thoughts!
You can train those neural pathways and strengthen your ability to focus! Spend 10 minutes each day sitting quietly. Set a timer on your phone (out of reach so you aren’t tempted to look at it). Stay with it through the discomfort. If you feel an urge to “do”, notice it, name it and let it pass. Research from Stanford’s Mind & Body Lab suggests that reframing – learning to view any stress or discomfort you feel in this time of quiet as a normal, helpful part of life (rather than a threat) will improve your overall emotional well-being and productivity.
So this practice, initially, will not feel peaceful. Stick with it and it will!
Of course there are many ways to “spend time in the eye of the storm”. Nature walks are a great way to get away from technology and be with our thoughts. Breathwork can be helpful to look within. Meditation, of course, is not a new invention and there are many ways to approach it. For those new to meditation, a guided approach can be helpful. Savasana, often performed at the end of a yoga class, is a form of this. Click here for an example- our office YouTube video will provide an audio track for 8 minutes of guided breathwork.
As you pursue peace through different means, I would still encourage you to try that 10 minute daily exercise (without the “guiding” external voice), in order to develop those neural pathways and detox from the dopamine of our stimulated lives. In time, that structured time of peace can become a sanctuary like my friend’s backyard waterfall, and a respite from the storms around you.
Give peace a chance!