As the final leaves are collected and the temperature declines, we see the season of autumn give way to the approaching winter. For some this is great news- avid winter sports enthusiasts have been eagerly awaiting that first snow. For others, this may feel like bad news. They already feel the chill and dread the change of season.
We also have seasons in our life. There are periods where family or career obligations consume much more of our time than at other stages in our life. When our children are small, we think we will never enjoy a “grown up” night out again- that our conversation is doomed to revolve around potty training and Sesame Street. When they are teenagers, life becomes filled with chauffeuring and helping with homework. Each phase has its own joys and challenges.
Solomon said that “there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens”. Some seasons are more challenging than others, but each one will give way to the next. It is important to recognize our season, and find the joy of it. At times we are abnormally busy – such as caring for another- an ill child or aging parent. Our professional obligations are greater at certain points in our career – some jobs have annual periods of insanity. Talk to an accountant at tax time! (actually don’t, they are too busy to talk to you then!) At times like this, we must adjust our expectations for ourselves and maintain our boundaries without guilt. Our home may not be as tidy- dust may accumulate. We may not entertain or volunteer the way we once did. That is okay. Accepting “the new normal” is a skill which will allow us to respond to new challenges with an inner peace.
In our health and well-being, there are also seasons, as described by Dr. Donald Epstein. These seasons have no fixed time frame. One may remain in a season without moving on to a new season. At times, we may have aspects of our lives that relate to several different seasons, but the majority of the way we live will connect with one of these four seasons. When we acknowledge the season that we are in, we may successfully gain the wisdom of that season and can move forward, learning the strategies of that season.
Initially we are in a season of Discover, where we recognize our physical condition and ask “Why is this happening to me?“. We may develop an understanding of our body’s movement, its’ energy flow and how it allows the flow of breath. We may experience emotions in this season such as helplessness or frustration. We learn how we have controlled certain factors with our posture and tension to numb our experience and protect ourselves from pain and suffering.
We can then enter a season of Transform, where we pour our energy into changing. We develop the strength and courage to begin doing something about the situations from which we are protecting ourselves. We are no longer moving away from pain but towards a goal. We are no longer asking “why?” and “who is to blame?” but focused on questions like “What can I do to move ahead?” We experience our inner strength and the emotions of determination and excitement.
We may then reach the season of Awaken. In this season, we experience peace and gratitude. We are not feeling an attachment to our past hurts and traumas. We are able to focus on our “connectedness” and ask ourselves more about how we can share our gifts with others.
The fourth and final season that Epstein describes is the season of Integrate. In this season, we have developed a good understanding of how life works in the other 3 seasons, and we may consciously combine the gifts of 2 different seasons at the same time.
As with life, respecting the season that you are in is an important aspect of your healing. We cannot harness the power of transformation if we are stuck in a perspective of looking for who or what to blame. While we are revelling in the peace of awaken, it is not the time to marshal our forces to make major changes in our lives.
It is a tremendous gift to recognize and embrace the season that you are in. Solomon tells us that there is a time to plant and a time to reap. If you are trying to plant seeds at harvest time, you will be just as frustrated as if you take up a new summer sport as we head into winter. Find ways to enjoy this winter season and you won’t resent the weather so much!
If your “season of life” is busy and stressful, cut yourself some slack! I am. I planned on writing weekly blog articles, but have found family responsibilities taking my time and energy, so I am posting articles when I can, and that’s okay for now. Only when we embrace our current season can we get all the benefits from it, fully participate, and experience peace within.
Welcome winter, it is coming- whether we are ready or not!