If there is one thing they teach you when flying in a plane, it is that you should put your own oxygen mask on first before helping your child get theirs. It seems like common sense, your child won’t be able to help you if you pass out, but you can help them. Yet the airlines tell you every time you fly, because it goes against all that seems natural for a parent. I get it, I would want to see my child safe before I worried about myself.
I like the expression You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first. Those who are primary care-givers for others- be it small children, an individual with an illness or disabilty, an aging parent or spouse- can have a tendency to put the needs of the object of their care before their own. This is a noble thing to do. The problem is that one can sustain this for only so long! Eventually the care-giver will inevitably burn out and either no longer be able to continue in this role, or the care may become less complete, and there may be a danger of unintended injury or neglect because the provider no longer has the ability to give their best.
It is so important for a care-giver to take time to regularly evaluate how they are doing- physically, mentally, emotionally, socially and spiritually. If one is suffering in any of these areas, steps must be taken or they may risk harming themselves as they continue to provide care, or harming the object of their care.
For instance, if one is carrying additional muscle tension or is out of balance neurologically, they may suffer a spasm while doing a lift that they have done many times before and risk dropping their charge or hurting themselves further. Stretches or exercises may be needed to strengthen one area or release the muscles in another area. They may need additional equipment to help with lifting, or advice about how to do it safely.
Also, when one becomes overwhelmed mentally or emotionally, it is easier to lose track in giving medications or recognizing changes in the condition of the recipient of care. Social isolation in the case of a primary care giver can take a tremendous toll on the health of both parties and needs to be addressed instead of just “toughing it out”. Proper nutrition can be neglected in the busy-ness of taking care of someone else’s needs.
SRI (Somato-Respiratory Integration) can be really helpful in self-evaluation and releasing stored stress. It is easy to learn and can be done anywhere! Think about the primary care givers you know. Think about how you can thank them and support them in their important role, and invite them to a workshop next month: “Caring for the Caregivers” Tuesday, October 2 at 7:30 pm. We will teach SRI and other exercises helpful to the caregiver, as well as outline some specific strategies for important self care in this vital role.