Shannon Robbins, a talented wedding and portrait photographer, created the image above while she was in school. It was an assignment to depict an elderly man looking at himself in a mirror and still seeing the young man that he once was. She took this picture of my dad and used a portrait of him that we found. With the magic of photoshop, this is what she created.
The funny thing is, that this is exactly how my dad felt. Dad was born in 1922. He was 40 when I was born and came from a generation when men didn’t talk about feelings or emotion. One of the most intimate conversations I can remember having with him, which we had several times, was when he would vulnerably express that he felt like “a young guy starting out” and couldn’t believe that he is really as old as he was.
And I get that! I am in my sixties now, and yet I don’t feel like I’m sixty. We were at a resort, celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary and I was walking along the beach and there was a man walking in front of me. In my mind, this man and I were peers, roughly the same age. As I looked more closely, I realized that he was probably 30 years old, and I was twice his age. But I don’t feel twice his age. I feel that I look like him, until I look in the mirror and see all the age spots (and I come from a family that gets lots of age spots.)
I don’t feel discouraged by my age. I know some people have trouble hitting milestone birthdays, but I have not had trouble with any of them so far. I just keep changing my definition of “old”. (I do enjoy the line: “60 is the new 30, but 9 pm is the new midnight!”) I recognize that I am aging, and it made me think about the storms of aging.
As you age, your health and mobility can change, which may require you to change your expectations. This can be disheartening. It is important to acknowledge the loss. To grieve a dream that may no longer come true because of the change in your circumstance. But then, as with all forms of grief, you have choice. You need to choose to focus on what you can do, to create things to look forward to in your future, that may replace your lost sport or hobby or activity.
I recognize that I will probably never try sky diving now, and my interest in this very physical and extreme sport has somewhat (and wisely) diminished. However, I was able to try a version of this last month at iFly in Whitby. I had an amazing time with my family, and got to experience flight without the risk and challenge!
Of course, putting on my chiropractor hat, I would remind you that you need to take care of your body to minimize the effects of aging. Your diet, level of exercise and the amount of sleep you get will all affect how your body ages. As you celebrate more birthdays, you require a little more maintenance… like a vintage automobile! But it’s worth it! This motivates me to exercise regularly and eat well. I look better when I do, and I feel better when I look better…
To learn more about healthy aging, join us for our workshop on September 18.
This has been an excerpt from Chapter 16 of Dr. Ivey’s book, “Living Through the Storms of Life”. To read the entire chapter, you may order the book on Amazon or purchase the book for $20 in the office.